Lady Gaga avec wings.

Lady GaGa performs “Speechless” on Ellen. She’s brilliant you know.

The delightful Stacy Ferguson

With the hot sun of the summertime comes some of my favourite music in the world: the summertime jam. That ubiquitous pop hit that dominates the airwaves and infiltrates every bar-b-q, road trip and afternoon at the beach from July thru to September. The type of music made better by sunstroke and repeated listens, classic summer jams provide the soundtrack to those hot and shiny days of sunburns and sugar-laced patio drinks.

Here, selected by yours truly, are this season’s contenders for top Summer Jam of ’09. A short list that reveals that pop , hip hop and R&B are pretty much all I’m listening to these days…

6. Make Her Say – Kid Cudi Ft. Kanye & Common

Kid Cudi looking like Humpty Hump

If you found the sly double entendre of Lady Gaga’s “Pokerface” too subtle, this might be the song for you! The version making it to air is far less filthy than the uncensored version linked here. A delightful little paean to the joys of oral sex, “Pokerface” is here sampled and repurposed in the most obvious of ways. But goddamn if that “Oh oh oh oh” ain’t catchy enough to make up for the lack of lyrical imagination.

5. D.O.A. – Jay Z

Hova!

Hova is back bitches! Waxing philosophical about everything wrong with hip-hop in ’09 over a cacophony of screaming guitars and alto sax (!?!) Jay lays down the law and shows the punks how it’s done, son.

4. Never Forget You – Noisette

Girl + Bass = Awesome

The latest retro-soul out of England, Noisette is a three-piece that has obviously put in their time listening to their parent’s Ronnettes and Dusty Springfield LPs. “Never Forget You” is just brilliant, piling hook on after hook, with a timeless sound that’s just a bit too esoteric to be a hit on this side of the ocean. Which sucks, because in a perfect world, this is what everyone would be listening to.

3. Paparazzi – Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga being weird. Again.

Oh Lady Gaga. I want to hate you soooo bad. But your songs make me so very happy and your bizarre sense of style and fashion only makes me love you more. That Lady was writing songs about being stalked by the paparazzi before anyone even knew who the hell she was tells you all you need to know about this amazing young woman and her shallow yet wonderful dreams.

2. I Gotta Feeling – Black Eyed Peas

Wake me up before you go-go.

That I’m a little ashamed to have BEP on the list only confirms it’s rightful place. Summer jams should be embarrassing, loud and stupid – just like Will.I.Am’s multi-culti pop factory. This may be the best song the Peas have ever done and with it’s unrelenting optimism and “F the world let’s party” swagger, it’s clear they were swinging for the fences. I’m going to be so sick of this by October I’ll never want to hear it again, but right now, I can’t get enough of this shit.

1. Love Knocks You Down – Keri Hilson Ft. Ne-Yo and Kanye

What did the five fingers say to the face?

Ne-Yo laments the demise of “the pimp in me” while Kanye brags about being “the new Slick Ric” and Keri coos about how much she loves her man. A perfect pop confection that I’d be happy to have on an endless loop until fall, I fucking love this song and if I had a convertible, this is what I’d be blasting at an obnoxious volume as I drove around town winking at girls. Which is what I would do if I have a convertible.